The image; crying little child

let me tell you what loneliness feels like,
you look to the stars but none blinks its sparks ,
you get drenched under the rain but you appreaciate none of its drop,
you are in the crowd of laughter but none of them makes you happy,
you are in the breezy day but the serenity never calm you,
you are in fields of flowers but their beauty don't catch your look,

because in loneliness;
you look to nobody except yourself; the image of crying little child in you
you seek the hand of a mother-like, but nobody reaches you
for false reality portrays; you are a happy geek
the tears you mute, silence your happiness
it kills you,
but you, will worry nobody

because they believe;
you are an adult
less dependent, should be your character
we should worry you, lesser than less

because they don't see;
that crying little child in you
it buries your sincere laughter

because you don't show;
for you, love to worry nobody.

IIUM
281014

Tired of missing you

I am tired of missing you
Tired of hugging all the memories
It close to my  heart
yet far from reality
It entangles my happiness
even a breathe of smile is a struggle
Living my life so misery

When I see you
I know deep down in my heart I want us back
and I hate myself,
for you, have stop loving me
I hate myself, for never be good enough for you

I am tired of missing you
of all those memories
Tired of hoping you will be mine someday
Tired of hoping you will come back

Sing me your love song
for me, almost die of misery
and be sincere
for I, have already die of betrayal

251014
IIUM

A go away

I don't understand the language of silence

I live in the world where everything being said out loud

I believe in what I see, not in what I am being told

I believe in what I hear, not in what I am being retold

and what you show me is what you want me to know

and what you speak out loud with your action is clearer than your voice

And mind not;
I am not judging,
It is you, giving me a clear hint,

A go away.

FK

IIUM
251014

I don't understand love

I don't understand love
What is it?
Is it a saying?
From whom?
The sincere or the liars

Or
is it permanent?
or it changes within time
or it is a mere symbolism of the whole concept of life
a little bit heartache, so one could understand what is pain
to appreciate sweet short moment of happiness

Or
it is a game
to see who get hurt the most
to see who is more capable
to judge whom suits you most

Little scattered of real life values
Overshadow the perception of real meaning of love
Who is sincere or otherwise
Who can give commitment and stay loyal
Who can be better or the best

I don't understand what is love
  When I stand in front of you
Even deep look into your eyes,
still, I couldn't understand what is in your heart
it shadows me from future you
and before I could realize
it already scattered me apart

I don't understand what is love
and I left myself, puzzled
for I am,
Tired.

FK

IIUM

24102014

My apology

I am afraid to be nice
it makes me vulnerable
   like I am afraid to be too sincere
as I am giving chances for somebody to hurt me

I am afraid to be true
saying things right religiously
when it contradicts the norm
like the talk to the deaf- nobody is listening

But I am too, afraid
   the day I will stand before my Lord
when every single actions count
of what I have done- silent approve of all those

My voice doesn't echoes to you
for piousness of mine is not enough
to open your eyes
or to touch your heart

I am afraid
when I look to my yesterday
like my fear, when I foresee my future
but you, couldn't understand none

I stumble
and the hope you gonna catch me fades
You see I am drowning
but not my struggle

My apology won't be enough
for you to see how fallible I am
or it's your ego doesn't catch my look
and notice my silent tear drops

IIUM
221014

You know how much I love you?

You know how much I love you?
Like when you look to the sky
You don't know neither the starting nor the ending point
Or like when you sink your look to the sea
You don't know the depth
Or like when you look to the stars
The brightest amongst all
Which steal the look
Like you steal the heart of mine
Or like when you touch the earth
The gravity that grounded; like you
Keep me at where I shall keep my pace

Or like when you ponder the whole universe
The amazement
That belong to the Greatest
Whom creates you and me
and the love temperament

Of how much I have loved you
That's how much I will always love you

As long as He allows me to keep you in my heart
This every heart beats of mine, will never forget you.

111014
TM